Lesson 16 - Lessons in Positivity
Abstract - This lesson covers what ANTS means and how to avoid them.
All about ANTS - ANTS are Automatic Negative Thoughts
These ANTS ruin the things that you can get out of your life if only you consciously word your thoughts in positive terms.
We stomp ants or blow them away when they bother us when we are in some activity. Right? Similarly we make sure we either stop half way and get rid of these ANTS or replace them with positive affirming thoughts which is the same as blowing ANTS away.
Research claims that we talk to ourself some 50,000 times a day. That makes it 52 times a minute! Too high na? I too am surprised. I think we may engage in mind talk some ten times a minute. Wonder how many times of those 10 times we are worried, angry, blaming, find fault, sad, anxious or bored.
Here are some ways in which we engage in ANTS
Always or never thinking.These thoughts are generated by adding an extra word like never, anyhow, always me or other similar.
My mother always bothers me with work when I am studying / reading / watching TV.Why does my boss always tell me.I never get to do what I want to do. Anyhow it does not matter now.
Asserting the lop side.
What will I do now?Oh my God I am late.Oh Shit! What a mess I have made.
Predicting failure, loss, ridicule, punishment.
Oh! I forgot to fill this item. Now I will not get a call from the company.I gave extra money to the shopkeeper. Why should he return it. Now I will have to bear the loss.
Mind Reading In mind reading we tend to decide what the other is thinking and conclude the outcome thereof. Only psychic people in California can read other peoples' minds or so the saying goes.
He isn't paying attention to me. Surely he will not do my work.
Nobody is coming to my table to take an order. The staff in this restaurant is carless.
There is no traffic on the road. I hope nothing is wrong with me or is a holiday today.
Using attributions. It is using some forcing words in speech which creates stress or hurrying up or compulsion. Some of the words that we use are must, should, need to, ought to, have to.There is a lot of work. I must go to the office on time today.I need to save enough money through this year to be able to travel next year.
Self Labelling Utterances. We tend to say things about ourself which become predictions.I do not remember things these days. I am becoming forgetful.He does not speak well. He must be basically an arrogant person.
She cannot understand what I am telling her. She's an idiot.
People in my office do not take work to heart. They are irresponsible.
Using attributions. It is using some forcing words in speech which creates stress or hurrying up or compulsion. Some of the words that we use are must, should, need to, ought to, have to.There is a lot of work. I must go to the office on time today.I need to save enough money through this year to be able to travel next year.
Labelling. In labelling we give a quality name to a person because of an observed behaviourShe doesn't understand what I tell her. Surely she's an idiot.People in this office do not pour their heart into their work. They are irresponsible.
He doesn't know how to speak. He seems to be arrogant.
Personalising. In personalising we qualify ourself because of an experience or type of response.I am not remembering numbers on one call. I am becoming forgetful.The spoon has slipped out of my hand twice today. I have started becoming careless.He doesn't know how to speak. He seems to be arrogant.
This friend hasn't called me yet. He seems to have lost interest in my proposal.
Life is not easy. I need to work hard.
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