Lesson 18 - Lessons in Positivity
Abstract : We have copied a lot of things from our elders during our growing years. They may prove to be harmful to us. Today's lesson teaches a method to get rid of such things.
It is natural to notice a spot or fruit's smear when we look at someone wearing a nice piece of dress. It attracts our attention. It is in this manner that we have acquired many of our thoughts / patterns of thinking, holding feelings, actions and behaviours. It is not uncommon to have ailments or tendency for illness because of this. Here are some examples:
- Ramesh remained a bachelor because he adored Swami Vivekananda. Vivekanand's photo was hanging on the wall in their house. Whether he became enlightened like Vivekananda is questionable but bachelorhood surely stuck to him.
- Kirti gets angry for no particular reason. His mother used to tell him when he was young that you should become like your father. His father was a wealthy industrialist. Kirti could not become one, but an angry man he did become.
- Reshma wished she would become a beautiful woman like her aunt when she grew up. Far from becoming beautiful, she picked up the habit of being critical of other persons like her aunt when she grew up.
- Maurya picked up the habit of belching loudly like his mama who he liked very much because of his many skills.
- Puniya picked up acidity from his friend's father. He used to adore him for his vast knowledge.
- Krishnan adored Prime Minister Vajpayee. Far from becoming a politician, he picked up knee pain.
- I myself picked up getting frequently injured because I heard my dad's friend say when I was young that we have to give something to get something. So I started believing that I spilling blood every day was to clear my sins committed unknowingly in life.
- I also picked up smoking from one of my uncles. I liked and loved him because he was so very talented.
This is called 'role modelling' in positivity. Now make a list of upto five thinking, feeling, actions, behaviours that you do not like in yourself or in others. Reflect for a day. Find who is it from your childhood that had a similar pattern. The person is usually a significant other.
How to get rid of role modelling. Story of how monkeys are caught.
This may not be new to some of you. Monkeys are caught in Kerala by using this idea. You know that Kerala is a state which produces a lot of coconuts. Now monkeys love coconuts. It is natural for them to peep into every cut coconut they see to find out if they can get some of it to eat. What is done is that a opened coconut with a small opening is tied to a tree with a long thin rope. Some cooked rice is put inside the coconut. A curious monkey puts its hand in to get some of the rice. Now it cannot take its hand out unless it lets go of the rice. It tries and tries and tries to remove its hand. In the mean time the monkey catcher puts a net on the monkey and puts it in a cage or ties a chain around its neck. A similar method is used in some other parts of India. They use a reasonably large mouthed bottle instead of the coconut. They keep some peanuts or a banana inside the bottle.
Deplorable thinking, feeling, behaviours and illnesses are picked up by us unknowingly from someone we adored. We do not give up firstly because we do not know, or we know but we are helpless, or we do not want to give up although it is harmful to us. Here is one of my own example.
I used to tend to drop things though I know my father telling me through my childhood this: One thing at a time, and that done well, is a very good thing, that many can tell. I think he took it from this poem. There are also many other thoughts in it.
One Thing at a Time
Work while you work,
—Play while you play;
That is the way
—To be cheerful and gay.
All that you do,
—Do with your might;
Things done by halves
—Are never done right.
One thing each time,
—And that done well,
Is a very good rule,
—As many can tell.
Moments are useless
—Trifled away;
So work while you work,
—And play while you play.
Work while you work,
—Play while you play;
That is the way
—To be cheerful and gay.
All that you do,
—Do with your might;
Things done by halves
—Are never done right.
One thing each time,
—And that done well,
Is a very good rule,
—As many can tell.
Moments are useless
—Trifled away;
So work while you work,
—And play while you play.
I do not know the source from whom I copied this behaviour. It used to happen because my attention used to move away from my activity for no reason. This caused a large number of accidents while doing anything or while driving.
Positivity method to get rid of such thoughts, feelings, behaviours and even ailments / diseases.
Say this: I let-go, release and discard the need or desire to be like .......... I am now free of this (thinking / feeling / behaviour / ailment / disease).
It is to be said in alpha state and also many times in a day for a week or so depending on the seriousness of the matter.
Then follow up with this addressing your mind thus :
O my mind. I like you, I love you, I respect you, I adore you. Please let go of this obsession with this thinking / feeling.
Presto it is gone.
Summary: We have seen what role modelling is. How many of our habitual patterns have been picked up unknowingly. Why it is caused. How we can give it up.
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